I'm Entitled..Or Maybe Not

Today's teens have a sense of entitlement that did not exist in prior generations. Maybe the cause can be found in the fact that both parents work; they are too tired in the evening to put up a fight or follow proper parenting procedures and to quiet the brats they simply cave in to their demands. Another possible reason is the ubiquitous TV set and fare; it gives them instant gratification scenes four hours a day, the average time a child spends in front of the "idiot" box. Or maybe our modern society as a whole has become "entitlement crazy."

The Good, Very Good Old Days

In matters of discipline and values, I simply cannot imagine a better training than in the good old days. Call me old-fashioned (or just old) but I'll stick to my guns even if Dick Cheney threatens to waterboard me. Granted, many aspects of life in the 40's and 50's are considered unhealthy today and with reason. Smoking was in vogue, eating red meat tainted with banned insecticides was common for those who could afford it every day, polluting the atmosphere was not even in the vocabulary, abusive parents and priests went unpunished, the welfare safety net didn't work properly, excessive amounts of lead in the water endangered our lives, and, worst of all, we lived under constant threat of an atomic holocaust.

However, my parents taught me to be thrifty, to polish my shoes every day, to eat everything in my plate even if I didn't like it, to obey and respect my elders, to be honest - even brutally honest, to be tough in the face of adversity, to wash my hands before every meal, and especially to work hard, very hard. As survivors of the GD (Great Depression) and the rationing of the second world war, my mother and father knew very well the value of a penny saved after earning it with sweat and tears. I went to school either walking or on a bicycle, rain, shine, or snow. Both my parents occasionally slapped and/or spanked me when I deserved it and I thought at the time that it was perfectly O.K.

So when I travelled alone to America at the bottom of the Queen Elizabeth transatlantic and reached the tough shores of New York with $200 in my unpressed pants, I felt some trepidation of course but without losing the faith that I could survive in this strange land of skyscrapers (my first). I spoke some English which got me to the bus station and my next destination: Los Angeles. The year was 1959 and the Civil Rights movement had not fully developed yet. The lady who rented my first apartment made sure I was the right color before admitting that she had a vacancy. Of course, I had never seen a Black man or woman except in magazines and Hollywood movies. And wouldn't you know it, my first friends were precisely African-American, a married couple who were extremely helpful in my adaptation process.

Growing up without television was also a blessing, as I was "forced" to create my own "mental shows" through the numerous books I devoured as a child and a teen. Try telling your child that he/she can only watch 1 hour a day. "Mutiny on the Bounty" is nothing compared to wails of despair you'll have to endure. Video games? 1 hour a day, after homework, and I APPROVE THEM BEFORE YOU PLAY. Does this sound like a revolution in the making and you are the king and queen about to face the guillotine? But remember, you have the power: use it, with love and care. The rebellion will soon subside and peace will return. Their grades will improve and their future will shine more brightly. Isn't it worth it?

EVERYBODY FITS

As a teacher in high school, I have the responsibility to guide my special needs students toward a satisfying and lucrative activity after graduation. Some can aspire to college, but most can do well in vocational schools where they will learn a trade that will allow them to become independent. Sometimes, however, I am faced with a difficult case; the student does not believe that he/she can be transformed into a useful citizen. Their self-esteem has been damaged by years of academic failure and by verbal abuse emitted by uncaring peers.

It is part of my job and my colleagues' in special education to detect these cases and strive to establish a personal bond that will allow us to penetrate the "emotional armor" raised as a first-line defense. We have four years to convert these teens into confident human beings with the help of counselors, other teachers, and the parents. The main tools we use in our effort to win their trust is good humor, frequent one-on-one talks, school material help (sometimes from our personal supplies), effective communication with parents or guardians, coordination with classroom teachers, with school principals, and, above all, with genuine care (not compassion).

A few students have to be placed in special classrooms due to their very low level of academic competency; they read with difficulty, they struggle abnormally with numbers, they fail to capture the essence of second level abstract concepts (thinking about thinking, for example). The practice of separating these students from regular classrooms is waning. Investigations have shown that most can perform well in mainstream education with adequate accommodations and modifications; the experience of learning with their non-disabled peers is a highly beneficial social interaction. Still, a very small minority of students must be handled separately due to their very severe physical and mental problems.

Teachers, unlike doctors, cannot help becoming attached to their students, especially with those who need the most attention. That is especially true of children with special needs. Our greatest reward is certainly not monetary; we feel fulfilled when an ex-student returns to school just to say hello and thank us for our patience and concern. As mentioned above, our (the teachers') main goal in high school is to make every effort to find a satisfying niche for all students once they graduate. Luckily for us, the state has established strict guidelines to lead these teens into the right slot, whether college, vocational school, or work. We sometimes fail, due to extreme circumstances outside our control, and the only consolation is that we did our best.




It is extremely important to work with the community and convince businesses that students with special needs often make the best workers. "Everybody Fits" must be a slogan sponsored by the private sector, not just public education. Compassion is admirable, but these children want recognition, not pity. At their level of skills, they can perform many tasks with success and thus become useful members of society, saving the government millions in welfare help.